I’ve always felt strongly that you can tell a lot about a person by what they don’t do. What they don’t say, what they will not invest time in: where they will not end up. I got a chance to meditate at Angkor Wat, do you know the most interesting thing about this ancient ruin? It was built on sand…
For a very long time I did not have a personal operating system for making decisions but now I certainly do, I always start with what I DO NOT want.
Funny thing isn’t it. I’ve been travelling now for 5 months and I still know that the word ‘no’ is becoming more and more relevant in my life. What resonates for me from a habit development point of view is the same, do your habits fall apart at the first sign of petty circumstances?
‘It’s not my fault, I didn’t have time, the dog ate my breakfast’. From the personal vantage point it could be that each day the justification for spending even more time on that cellphone is preventing you from the introspection required to think, compartmentalize negative behaviors and grow mentally and spiritually.
I would like to suggest that setting the stage for something bigger may yield better results, I call it- dispassionate progress.
“Nobody gives a fuck about your feeling bro” – Gary Vaynerchuck
We’ve all seen it, the narcissism so inherent in ‘challengers’, ‘transformations’ and my personal favorite, ‘online personal trainers’. When did we begin consuming so much stereotypical bullshit? When did we not consume that BS article written by a ghost writer? When did we say a very big resounding YES to such a clear breakdown in authenticity?
Was it the opportunity to be different? Did we see people making progress and assume it was easier than it looks? Was it some black clothing and a change of lighting? Maybe it was a cheat day and not a cheat meal. Maybe that PR actually sucked?
We all know what it’s like to blatantly hide behind our indifference but, when did we ask for more high quality information and say no to the regurgitated bullshit that so many people spout some inspirational melodramatic hype to PRETEND they changed or learned?
Dispassionate progress, this is the first sign of the authentic pursuer of self-development. Not a before and after picture, not an excuse or a grandiose fantasy. Actual, measurable progress.
Change that has been melded in the pursuit of constant trial and error, constant vigilance, an alertness that transcends to a set of beliefs that don’t get disrupted by pettiness;
Repeat after me, ‘I will not use or consume media or ‘studies’ without first verifying who the author is’…
Change that emulates the character building pursuit of earning the thing you want is a dedication to the writers who have put so much effort into creating the actual value that the work promotes.
That is the habit which creates real change.